


My Heart in Your Hands

by secondalto



Series: Written in Flesh and Blood [7]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, BAMF Pepper Potts, F/M, Protective Pepper, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, The Author Regrets Nothing, Tony Feels, Tony Has Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-14
Updated: 2014-07-14
Packaged: 2018-02-08 19:15:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1952883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/secondalto/pseuds/secondalto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pepper won't ever let Tony see her mark, until she does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Heart in Your Hands

**Author's Note:**

> I am retconning how Tony and Rhodey meet. And as much as there are parts of IM3 I adore, I'm ignoring the movie altogether. With thanks as always to Rainne.

Howard Stark has searched so relentlessly for Steve Rogers that Tony half believes he’ll get the good Captain’s name when he turns eighteen. Tony knows that this is impossible. Rogers is dead, but Howard’s belief and powerful influence can move mountains. Why couldn’t it dictate Tony’s soul mark too?

While Tony can’t see his father’s love directed towards himself, he can see it directed to his mother. He’s always been firm that his parents are soul mates. He doesn’t remember seeing his father’s mark, but he does remember his mother’s. Maria’s mark has been drawn across the length of her forearm. It is a dark black script that looks far too heavy for such a delicate arm.

When he goes to MIT at the age of fifteen, he’s surrounded by people with marks. Yes, there are a handful that don’t have them, but it doesn’t matter. Tony is still naïve enough to believe that the marks mean happiness. He’s never known anyone not to be, but he’s been sheltered. When he graduates in two years, he’s even more desperate to know the name that will appear on his skin. He wants to love like his parents do. He vows that his love will also extend to his children. When his eighteenth birthday comes and goes without a mark, he falls into a mild depression.

Maria consoles him, reminds him that his mate might not be of age yet, tells him that he just has to be patient. He throws himself into work, building things. He builds DUM-E in his father’s workshop. He doesn’t know why he keeps the thing around, but it might be sentimentality.

The accident devastates him. Howard’s friend, Obie, tries to convince him he doesn’t need to see the bodies. But Tony does. It’s the sight of his mother’s arm, stripped of his father’s name, that hits him the hardest. It probably is a good thing they went together. He can’t imagine his dad functioning without his mom. He goes into a tailspin.

He lets Obie take over the company for a while. He parties, drinks, uses drugs and sleeps around like nobody’s business. A different girl every night because what the fuck is life if you don’t have a soul mate? Why should he care when the two people who he’d hoped to model his future marriage after are gone? He never remembers the girls’ names. Names mean nothing. He knows they mostly only sleep with him because of who he is anyway, so why do they matter?

Four months after his twenty-second birthday, Tony’s soul mark finally appears. That night he is alone, somewhere in San Diego, maybe? The pain wakes him from a drunken stupor as the name sears itself into his skin. He falls out of bed, writhing around on the floor cursing. When it’s over he lies there panting. It takes a few minutes for him to decide he’s not going to retch all over the carpet. He pushes himself up, staggering to the bathroom. He closes his eyes as he reaches the sink with the mirror above it. He turns the water on, splashing some on his face, swirling some around his mouth and spitting. The he takes a breath and looks.

The name is in two parts; one on his left bicep, the other on his right. It’s a fiery red-orange, licking along his arms like flames. He reads the last name first: _Potts_. Not a bad name. Then he drags his eyes over to the first name: _Pepper_.

He frowns at his reflection. “Who the fuck names their kid _Pepper_?”

*~*~*~*~*~*

Virginia “Pepper” Potts spends her entire eighteenth birthday in abject misery. She has been looking forward to getting her mark for as long as she can remember. She has imagined what her soul mate might be like, how happy they might be. When she wakes up and realizes where it is and whose name it is, she knows the universe hates her. The name _Tony Stark_ is printed in metallic red on her lower back, right above her ass. The first indignity is that apparently her soul mate is a boozing billionaire playboy. Oh, sure, it could be another Tony Stark, but Pepper isn’t that lucky. The second is that her mark is a fucking _tramp stamp_. For the first time in her life, Pepper thinks she might have to agree with the anti-soul mark movement. She will never love an ass like Stark. Never.

When she graduates college, a year early, she finds work at Stark Industries of all places. But beggars can’t be choosers and the likelihood of her running into the CEO is damn near impossible. She starts out in the secretarial pool. Her skills are soon noticed and she begins to float from department to department, wherever she’s needed. One day, she’s working in accounting and notices an error. It’s small, but could mean millions for the company. She should bring it to her immediate supervisor, but he hates her. Instead she gathers up the papers and quickly makes her way out of the department. She walks with an air of confidence, striding to Stark’s office.

He doesn’t have a secretary of his own, or if he does, she isn’t at her desk. Pepper walks in, clutching the files to her chest. Tony Stark is standing at the huge floor to ceiling window, arguing with someone on the phone. He is classically handsome, there’s no denying that. But it’s the smirk and the attitude that make him the arrogant bastard he really is. He ends the call, tossing the phone onto his desk. He turns and is surprised to see her there. He looks her up and down and Pepper mentally squirms.

“You’re not Mrs. Warren,” he says. “How did you get past the dragon?”

“No one was at the desk.” She feels calmer than she should.

He steps away from the window, walking closer to her. “You’re obviously here for a reason, so get on with it.”

“Well, Mister Stark, sir,” she begins.

“Call me, Tony, please. Mister Stark was my father,” he insists.

She pushes past her irritation, starting over. “Mister Stark, I was looking over the accounts from the most recent week and I found an error.” She takes the files and starts to hand them to him. He waves her off.

“I don’t like being handed things,” he says. She shoves them at him anyway, so he’s forced to either take them or let them fall. He takes them and opens them.

“I highlighted what I found. It’s a small error, I can see how someone would have overlooked it, but it could cost Stark Industries several millions.” She finishes what she was going to say, happy that it’s going to be taken care of.

Tony hums, running a finger down the pages. Then he shuts the file and looks over at her with a smile. It’s a more genuine one, not the fake one he loves to flash at the press. “Where are you working for me now?”

“I go where I’m needed.”

“Well I think I need you as my personal assistant. I like a person with an attention to detail. I’d also like to know the name of the woman who saved my company, and me, a lot of money.”

“Virginia Potts,” she says. He seems to startle a little at that. She’s not sure anyone would have noticed if they weren’t looking right at him.

He tilts his head. “Do your friends call you Gin, or Ginny?”

“Pepper actually.” She’s not sure why she told him that.

Tony’s smile turns into a grin. Pepper feels like she’s a gazelle being hunted by a lion. “Well, this is going to be a very interesting time, Miss Potts.”

“I look forward to working with you, Mister Stark.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It takes six months for Pepper to see Tony’s mark.

Tony spends most of his time in Malibu. He insists that she stay in his house. Well, not actually in his house, but in the small guest apartment above the garage. Pepper tries to protest, but realizes that even with the salary bump she’s getting for being his assistant renting a place will be futile. He calls on her far too often and she would never spend any time there. She relents but insists on strict rules. She gets two days a week off, no work after eleven unless there is a current project in the works and under no circumstances is Tony to go anywhere near her room. Subject to change in case of an emergency, Pepper’s definition of an emergency that is. No, Mister Stark running out of scotch is not an emergency.

Tony introduces her to JARVIS and they quickly find themselves in a good working relationship. Tony does flirt, but Pepper has strict rules about that too. Their banter sometimes reminds her of the old 40s romances. It’s kind of adorable, when Tony isn’t being an ass. (He’s only Tony in her mind, always Mister Stark when they’re working. She’s always Miss Potts.) She has no problems until he goes on an engineering bender. He disappears into his workshop and she’s not worried. She goes to bed and he’s still there the next morning. She reschedules all of his morning meetings. When he hasn’t emerged by lunchtime, she steels herself to go find him.

She wanders down the stairs. The pounding of drums beckons her forward. Soon she hears guitars and a loud screeching voice. She’s pretty sure it’s AC/DC. The lab door is glass and she can see Tony bent over a table in the far corner. Pepper tries to open the door, but it’s locked.

“I’m sorry, Miss Potts, but Mister Stark has requested that he be left alone,” JARVIS intones.

Pepper frowns. “Well he’s been in there for almost a day and he needs to eat,” she says. “And attend to his responsibilities. He’s the CEO of a Fortune 500 company; he can’t just play.”

“He left me strict instructions, Miss Potts,” JARVIS replies. He almost sounds apologetic.

“Well, can you ignore those instructions, just this once? He’s going to collapse if he doesn’t eat.”

JARVIS doesn’t respond, but when she tries the door again, it opens. She steps forward, the music blaring. She sees him move, the muscles of his arms and back rippling under the white tank top he’s wearing. Pepper is not turned on. Okay, maybe a little. He must sense that she’s there because he turns and she can see it – them. The names on his arms. Her last name on the left and her nickname on the right. She’s his soul mate.

She decides then and there he’ll never know he’s hers.

“Ah, well, that’s not awkward,” Tony says, turning back to the table. “JARVIS, volume down thirty percent.”

“Yes, sir.”

“What are you doing?” she asks, pretending she never saw anything.

“Building, what does it look like, Potts?” he counters, picking up a screwdriver.

She takes a breath, trying to keep calm and professional. “And what is so important that you’ve been down here for almost a day?”

He lifts his head and glances back at her. “Has it only been that long? I’ve been known to be down here for weeks. I’m building DUM-E a friend. He seemed lonely.”

“A ROBOT?” she yells. “I rescheduled all your meetings and worried myself to death because you decided you needed another robot?”

“Not me, DUM-E,” he corrects. He’s already gone back to the table. “I’m an inventor, I invent and build things, Potts. Get used to it.”

She lets out a sound of frustration and turns to storm out.

“Don’t think I don’t know you saw them, Potts. You’re gonna show me yours one day!” he calls out to her.

“In your dreams,” she shouts back.

“Always!”

Pepper Potts is never going to fall in love with Tony Stark. Hell will freeze over before he sees that his name is anywhere on her body.

*~*~*~*~*

When Tony gets his platonic mark, the first person he shows is Pepper.

“Look, Potts, someone to rival you for interesting nickname,” he shoves his arm in her face.

She takes it and looks. Under the mark of her nickname is another name, in gold: _Rhodey Rhodes._ “That is rather unfortunate,” she remarks, before dropping Tony’s arm and going back to work.

“What? No comment on the fact that I have a platonic out there somewhere?” he asks incredulous.

“Thank God. Now I’ll have someone who can put up with your shit when I’m not here.”

Pepper gets up and leaves the room. Tony stands there speechless. When he does meet Jim Rhodes, who is the liaison from the military, Tony immediately knows they are going to be great friends. Rhodey will never let Tony see where his platonic mark is located. Tony is bound and determined to find out.

*~*~*~*~*

He wakes up to find a hole in his chest.

Tony tries to process everything, tries not to think about the hole in his chest. He thinks about Rhodey, about Pepper. He wonders how she’s holding up. The men – terrorists – who took him want him to build them weapons. This isn’t what he wanted Stark Industries to be. He takes one look at everything around him and his mind starts slotting things into place. Yinsen, the man who saved his life, is going to help him.

Once he has the mini-arc reactor glowing in his chest, Tony feels better. Now they can really get to work. The days are long and tiring, but Tony wants out of there _now_. He’s working on building the suit, doing some welding, so he’s removed the outer layers of his clothing. Yinsen is watching him, looking at the marks.

“Have you met them yet? Your mate?” Yinsen asks.

“Known her for almost two decades now,” Tony grunts, twisting metal into the shape he wants.

Yinsen smiles. “This is good. You must be very much in love.”

“No, not really.” Tony stops, thinks. He’s been gone for a while now. He can picture Pepper clearly in his mind. She’s got to be frantic with worry. It makes him ache and he’s not sure he wants to feel that. “She thinks I’m an ass, which, to be fair, is mostly true. She’s beautiful of course, great legs. Efficient, don’t know how I ever got along without her. We flirt, lots of barbs and back and forth. But I wouldn’t say we’re in love.”

Yinsen laughs. “I hate to tell you my friend. But I think that you may be.”

Tony doesn’t answer, just pounds metal into place. After a moment he stops and looks up. “What about you? Have you met yours?”

“I have. She is gone now,” Yinsen says, not looking at Tony. They leave it at that and go back to work.

*~*~*~*~*

When the reports come in that there has been an explosion involving the convoy Tony’s in, the first thing Pepper does is check her mark. She twists around to look in the mirror, to see his name still there. It is, but it doesn’t seem as bright. Maybe she’s imagining things. Not that she’s in love with him, but because he’s her boss. She fields calls from press, clients and shareholders. She doesn’t cry when Rhodey calls and tells her they are doing everything to find Tony.

Days turn into weeks and the first thing Pepper does each morning is check her mark. Stark Industries stock goes on a rollercoaster ride with each and every rumor about what may or may not have happened to Tony. When she gets the call that Tony’s been found, she bursts into tears. She tries to tell herself it’s out of relief; that it’s because she still has a job. But deep in her heart Pepper realizes that her feelings for Tony have started to change. He’s not always Mister Stark anymore; he’s Tony when she’s frustrated, angry and sometimes amused with him. Their little game carries more weight than it used to and she wonders why he’s still carrying on like he’s in his twenties. She wipes the tears, calls Obie and sets about getting ready to welcome Tony home.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tony has never been happier to see Rhodey. The look in his friend’s eyes when Rhodey sees the mini-reactor is one Tony never wants to see again. Once Tony is clean and in a fresh suit (he always keeps several on the plane), he feels more like himself again. If he can’t see the damn thing in his chest, it’s almost like it isn’t there. But it is. It feels heavy and the metal catches every now and then on the fabric of his shirt. He’ll make the next one better. Because there will be a better one when he has access to better material and equipment.

Rhodey insists on helping him down. He’s… glad isn’t the right word. Relieved? Relieved to see Pepper standing there. She’s giving him watery smile and he can tell she’s been crying. Tony smiles at her as he walks slowly towards her.

“Your eyes are red. A few tears for your long lost boss?” he jokes, part of him wanting to touch her.

She smiles back. “Tears of joy. I hate job hunting.”

They go immediately to a press conference where he announces that Stark Industries is no longer involved in the weapons business. Obie is understandably unhappy, making noises about the board and shareholders. But Tony is the goddamn CEO; what he wants should go. It’s his company. He throws all of his focus into making a new reactor. The old one has served its purpose. He gets Pepper to help him replace it. She doesn’t seem put off by it, just concerned that this happened to him. They almost have a moment. After that he throws himself into building a new suit. While working on the specifications, he sees the news about his benefit.

The reporters are speculating wildly about why he isn’t there. He decides to give them a thrill. When he gets, there he’s cornered by some bland guy in a suit. Something about a shield or something. He only half listens, especially when he catches sight of Pepper. She is breathtaking in blue, the back of the dress cut so low it warms his blood. Tony makes excuses to the suit and wanders over to her. She seems surprised to see him.

“You look great. I didn’t recognize you,” he says. He scrutinizes her skin. She still hasn’t ever told him where her mark is or whose name she bears.

“What are you doing here?” she asks, looking all around.

He smirks. “Avoiding government agents.”

“Are you by herself?” The implication stings. He’s not that bad, is he? Besides he hasn’t brought anyone home since…

“Where’d you get that dress?” He keeps looking. If she has a mark, it must be in a really intimate place because the dress reveals a lot of skin.

She looks at him, smiling. “It was a birthday present… from you actually.”

“I got great taste, don’t I? You, uh, wanna dance?” Tony doesn’t know why he asks her this. He just has this overwhelming urge to have Pepper in his arms.

“Oh, no, thank you,” she tries to back away but he doesn’t let her. He leads her out.

“All right, come on.”

The feel of Pepper near him, in his arms, it makes Tony start to rethinking their entire relationship. She is awkward in his embrace at first, relaxing as they sway together.

“So, Potts, it’s no wonder you won’t tell me,” he whispers into her ear.

She looks at him, brow wrinkled. “What?”

“Your mark. I’ve seen your arms before, not there. Not on your legs, which are fantastic by the way. And this dress tells me it’s nowhere on your back or over your rather gorgeous breasts.”

“Tony,” she says, exasperated.

“I will find it one day.” It’s almost a promise.

“I need some air.” Pepper pulls away, going out to the balcony. He follows.

They almost kiss. He can’t remember how everything led to the moment. He just remembers being drawn to Pepper. He remembers leaning in, the way she looks at him until her eyes drift shut and their lips are almost touching. Their breath mingles and he wants so badly to go that last millimeter so their lips meet. But she pushes him away and the moment is over.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Pepper thanks the universe for concealer. For most of her life she avoided low cut dresses or shirts that rode up. She never even thought about bikinis or backless swimsuits. Then a friend in college introduced her to a special line of makeup specifically designed for hiding poorly-placed marks and hello new wardrobe. She always had to have someone help her put it on, but it’s been a god-send since she began working for Tony and her formal wear inventory expanded. She’s not even sure why she chose this dress. Maybe it was to flirt with danger, to make Tony notice her.

This… thing they have between them is growing out of control. She really should put a stop to it, but she finds herself keeping it up. She might just be falling for Tony Stark. Until he figures his own life out, he’s never going to know. So she ignores it and goes on as if nothing happened. When Tony tells her Obie may have been behind his kidnapping, she can’t believe it. The man has been like another father to Tony. The possible betrayal must be killing him.

Everything after that is a blur. Obadiah is a monster. Pepper can see that now. He comes after her like she’s nothing. Even Agent Coulson is powerless to help her. But Tony has a plan. And even though it kills her to do it, when he says to press the button, she does. It takes a few days for Tony to recover. That’s enough time for Agent Coulson to come up with a cover story and for Pepper to arrange a press conference. Tony is looking at the notes Coulson provided while Pepper sees the Agent off.

“Even I don’t think I’m Iron Man,” he says, putting the notes in his mouth so he can put on his jacket.

“You’re not Iron Man, remember? You’re not,” she reminds him as she straightens the collar and fusses with his pocket square.

He looks at her and she can’t quite meet his eyes. “You know, if I were Iron Man; I’d have this girlfriend who knew my true identity. She’d be a wreck. She’d always be worrying I was going to die, yet so proud of the man I’ve become. She’d be wildly conflicted, which would only make her more crazy about me… Tell me you never think about that night.”

“What night?” The sudden change of subject should be confusing but Pepper is used to it from Tony.

“You know,” he says simply, watching as she continues to fuss.

“Are you talking about the night that we danced and went up on the roof and then you went to get me a drink and left me there by myself? Is that the night you’re talking about?” She stuffs the square of fabric in his pocket.

“Mmmhhhmmm.” That is not an answer.

“Thought so,” she replies, looking up at him smugly. “Will that be all Mister Stark?”

He smiles at her, pausing before he gives her the standard reply. “That will be all Miss Potts.”

He leaves to go face the press. Pepper thinks it that was a good moment they had. Then Tony messes it all up by announcing “I am Iron Man.” Agent Coulson is going to kill him.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Pepper starts checking her mark every day after that. Even if she knows that Tony has stayed at home, she still checks. He hasn’t brought anyone home since the… incident. She wonders if this is a permanent change in his behavior or if she’ll be taking out the trash again anytime soon. One month after the reveal, her mark starts to fade in color. It goes from the bright metallic red – which of course she realized matched the Iron Man suit – to a dull flat red. Then it starts to go grey. Something is wrong with Tony, but she can’t ask him. Outwardly he looks fine, if a little tired. She can’t say he looks bad. So instead she just worries.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

JARVIS tries to tell Tony that Tony should tell Pepper about the palladium poisoning. Tony shuts the AI down. One of the problems in inventing an artificial intelligence is that it’s actually intelligent. JARVIS has grown so much over the years, Tony is close to saying JARVIS is almost _sentient_ at this point. But he doesn’t want to hear the arguments.

Tony can’t – won’t – tell Pepper anything. She worries enough about him already, the speech he gave her before the “I am Iron Man” press conference notwithstanding. Tony will not let her have the fact that he might be dying added to her pile of responsibilities. So when she comes down to his workshop to discuss the company, he mutes JARVIS and pretends to not be listening. Until it hits him exactly what he should do. He looks right at Pepper. “You do it.”

“I do what?” Pepper’s face scrunches up in confusion.

“Excellent idea,” he says, running with it despite her confusion. “I’ve just figured it out. You run the company.”

“Yeah, I’m trying to run the company,” she tells him.

“I’m asking you to physically do it. I need you to do it,” he insists.

“Tony, I’m trying,” she sighs.

He shakes his head. They’ve always had trouble communicating when they’re angry. “I am appointing you CEO, why aren’t you listening to me? You know, I’ve been lately thinking about what legacy I want to leave behind, and who should do what when I’m gone.” This is the right thing, the best thing. “And I think, in terms of Stark Enterprises, that you should take over it. You’ve always managed to handle it, so far it’s been good. I hereby irrevocably make you CEO of the company.”

She’s stunned. They toast with champagne and she eventually seems happy about it. Tony knows that his company will be in good hands. People will question her qualifications, sure, but she handled everything when he was kidnapped and she’s doing a fine job now too. If he dies tomorrow, Tony knows his legacy will be secure. But he hopes he can live until the paperwork has gone through; no need to leave the legalities dangling in the air.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Pepper thrives handling the day-to-day of Stark Enterprises. But there was something that Tony said that nags at her constantly. He had talked about leaving a legacy. She watches as her mark continues to stay a dull and lifeless gray. She wishes she could talk to him. He seems a little like his old self when she introduces him to Natalie Rushman. Pepper tries not to feel jealous. It’s really the first time since Afghanistan he’s really looked at a woman other than her.

“Who is she?” he asks as Natalie climbs into the boxing ring with Happy.

Pepper smiles on the outside. Inside she isn’t sure that getting back to his old self is a good thing. “She is from legal and she is potentially a very expensive lawsuit if you keep ogling her like that.”

Pepper is officially made CEO of Stark Enterprises and she leaves Tony to do whatever it is he’s doing. They attend the Grand Prix in Monaco a week later. She knows that Tony and Justin Hammer have a contentious relationship and it does nothing but make her heart sing when she can ding Christine Everhart. Then of course, Tony decides to drive. Pepper wants to chew him out, shout at him as he flings terrible excuses at her. But before she can even really form a good mad, the next ten minutes of her life become some of the most terrifying since her stand-off with Obadiah.

When all is said and done and the bad guy is taken into custody, Pepper is tired. She is going to have to defend Tony’s statements that no one else had the Iron Man technology. That all related tech is sole property of Stark Enterprises. And she knows it isn’t going to be easy. Most of all she’s worried about Tony, about how this is going to affect him. On the plane home he’s nowhere to be found while she’s listening to the talking heads dissect and discuss what happened in Monaco. Finally Tony does appear, setting a dish of… something in front of her.

“What is that?” she ask, barely masking her disgust.

“This is your in-flight meal,” he replies, like it should be obvious.

She looks at it, but will not touch it. “Did you just make that?”

“Yeah,” he says sounding hurt. “Where do you think I’ve been for three hours?” He sits across from her and he doesn’t look good. He looks paler than usual, tired.

“What are you not telling me?” She doesn’t expect an answer. Or if he is going to give her one, it will be flippant and coy. Instead he’s honest with her.

“I don’t wanna go home. At all. Let’s cancel my birthday party and uh…. If we’re in Europe, let’s go to Venice. Recharge our batteries.”

The words come instantly, before Pepper can even think about what she’s saying. “Not everyone runs on batteries, Tony.” She’s hurt him. He looks emotionally wounded, she feels like she should apologize but they don’t say anything else to each other for the rest of the trip.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Pepper’s words sting. But she is right. No one else in the world operates like he does. And soon he won’t. The chlorophyll shakes aren’t helping. JARVIS isn’t – can’t – find a replacement for the palladium. He is going to die soon. When Rhodey catches him looking and feeling worse than ever, Tony knows he won’t be able to lie about his condition much longer. He feels bad about lying to both of his soul mates, but it is probably for the best.

“You don’t have to do this alone,” Rhodey says.

But Tony thinks he does. He has seen how keeping people close can be damaging. He doesn’t want to risk letting people in like that. He loves Rhodey like a brother, but he will never let the man see him fail. Pepper is the only person who has ever gotten closer than he thought he would let someone get. Now that he’s dying, he’s never going to let her see him fall, either. She means too much to him. Well that had been the plan anyway. But it seems like life had other plans and she’s seen him vulnerable. Tony doesn’t know what to do next. Except drown himself in drink.

He doesn’t drink enough to forget the party, the fight with Rhodey and the fact that Rhodey took off with one of the suits. Those things are like his children. But he could have stopped Rhodey if he really wanted to. Now he’s sitting in a giant ass donut and he has to deal with Fury. He declines an invitation to join the Avengers Initiative. Fury notices the palladium. Rushman turns out to work for the douchebag, and her name is really Romanoff. Fury gets right down to business.

“You’ve been very busy. Made your girl your CEO,” Fury starts. Since when has Pepper been his girl? Tony wants to object but Fury continues. “You’re giving away all your stuff, you let your friend fly away with your suit. Well, if I didn’t know better…”

Tony interjects. “You don’t know better. I didn’t give it to him, he took it.”

Fury objects and the red head – Tony doesn’t know what to call her in his head – points out that there are usually protocols preventing that. So, yeah, maybe Tony _let_ Rhodey take the suit. Fury talks about what he can do for Tony. Rushman injects him with something so he can “get back to work”. They adjourn back to the house. Fury talks to him about Howard and the arc reactor.

“You told me I hadn’t tried everything, what did you mean I hadn’t tried everything? What haven’t I tried?” Tony asked, curious.

“He said that you were the only person with the means and knowledge to finish what he started,” Fury answers. This agent, this man in black, seems to know so much about Howard.

Tony scoffs. “He said that?”

“Are you that guy?” Fury asks. “Hmm? Are you? Cause if you are then you can solve the riddle of your heart.”

Tony doesn’t think he just means the arc reactor. But maybe he’s reading far too much into the statement. He shakes his head. “I don’t know where you’re getting your information, but he wasn’t my biggest fan.”

Fury leans forward and it kind of scares Tony. “What do you remember about your father?”

“He was cold. He was calculating. He never told me he loved me. He never even told me he liked me,” Tony says, finally able to let all of his feelings out. “So it’s a little tough for me to digest when you’re telling me he said the whole future is riding on me and he’s passing it down. I don’t get that! You’re talking about a guy whose happiest day of his life was shipping me off to boarding school.”

“That’s not true,” Fury says.

“Well then clearly you know my dad better than I did,” Tony replies, sitting back in his chair.

Fury finishes his drink and puts the cup on a table. “As a matter a fact, I did. He was one of the founding members of SHIELD.”

“Wait?” Tony sits up, intrigued. “What?”

Fury doesn’t answer him, claiming an appointment. He leaves Tony with Double Agent Redhead and the agent from before, whose name Tony can’t remember. He also leaves an entire case of things from Tony’s dad, files and notebooks and films. Tony goes down to his workshop, pulls out a projector and watches the outtakes from the Expo intro he used for his own Expo as he goes through Howard’s notes on the reactor. Tony sees his younger self in the background, being chastised by Howard. Fury is wrong. Then he gets to the end of the notebook. He wants to know what could have happened next. He’s about to shut off the film when he sees it.

Howard leans against the table that holds the miniature version of the ’74 Expo. He faces the camera and speaks.

“Tony, you’re too young to understand this right now, so I thought I would put it on film for you.” Howard points to the model behind him. “I built this for you. And some day you’ll realize that it represents a whole lot more than people’s inventions. It represents my life’s work. This is the key to the future. I’m limited by the technology of my time, but one day you’ll figure this out. And when you do, you will change the world. What is, and always will be, my greatest creation… is you.”

The revelation won’t solve all of his issues, but Tony feels like a hole has been filled, a little. Howard loved him, even if dear old dad couldn’t say it or show it. Maybe Tony should man up, not be like daddy, and actually tell Pepper how he feels. He goes to see her and mucks things up. Again. He wants to make a connection with her, but she’s not letting him. When she’s not so angry at him, maybe he’ll try again. But he does take the model of the ’74 Expo back. And when he sees it, sees what Howard found, he grins.

“Dead for almost twenty years, still taking me to school.”

He says good bye to Agent can’t-remember-his-name, forges a new reactor core and waits for JARVIS to run diagnostics. He feels really good about this. He tells JARVIS to file the paperwork for a new patent on the element; he’s going to share credit with Howard. When he gets the phone call from Vanko and traces it to the Expo, he forgoes the rest of the testing and puts the new core in. The effects are better than any drug, any drink, any woman he’s ever had. The high is almost as good as what he feels when he’s around Pepper. (And it tastes like coconut.)

Tony has to fight Rhodey – or rather, rather the suit Rhodey is wearing. He hopes against hope that something goes his way; that he won’t have to kill his best friend and platonic soul mate. Tony knows that he will spiral out of control again if the golden name disappears from his arm and he is the cause of it. They take the fight away from the Expo, out to a creek bed. Rhodey’s suit is firing on Tony, bullets coming at him like a rush of water that Tony can’t stop. Then the stolen suit goes dark and Agent Double Cross’s voice is in his ear.

“Thank you, Agent Romanoff,” he says. Hey look, he can remember a name.

“Well done with the new chest piece,” she replies, sounding impressed. “I’m reading significantly higher output and your vitals all look promising.”

“Yes, for the moment, I’m not dying. Thank you.”

“What do you mean you’re not dying?” Pepper cries. Romanoff must be tied into her as well somehow. Tony cringes. “Did you just say you’re dying?”

Tony tries to be reassuring. “Is that you? No, I’m not. Not anymore.”

“What’s going on?”

“I was going to tell you,” Tony insists. “I didn’t want to alarm you.”

Pepper does some interrupting of her own, angrily. “ _You were going to tell me?_ You were really dying?”

“You didn’t let me,” Tony counters. He feels like he’s messing this up again. He is going to have to come up with something really good to soothe Pepper this time.

“Why didn’t you tell me that?” Pepper sounds distraught. He hates when she sounds distraught.

“ _I was going to make you an omelet and tell you.”_

Romanoff is the one to interrupt this time. “Hey, hey. Save it for the honeymoon. You got incoming, Tony. Looks like the fight’s coming to you.”

“Great. Pepper?”

“Are you okay now?” she asks, concerned.

“I’m fine,” he soothes. “Don’t be mad, I will formally apologize-“

“I am mad!” she shouts.

“-when I’m not fending off a _Hammeroid attack_ ,” he finishes.

“Fine,” Pepper huffs.

“We could have been in Venice,” he reminds her, trying for the old banter that he knows and loves.

“Oh, please.” He can’t see her, but Tony is pretty sure she rolled her eyes at him.

*~*~*~*~*

Pepper promises herself that she will not give Tony a lecture when she sees him again. Not much of one. God, this explains her mark, why he was being cagey, everything. She loves the man but…. Wait. Yeah, she thought that, and she realizes that she means it in every way possible. Pepper has gone and done what she promised herself she wouldn’t do, which is fall in love with Tony Stark. But when she thinks about it, how could she have fallen for anyone else? Then he goes and rescues her from an exploding Hammer drone and lands them on a roof. She is done.

She pushes Tony away from her and puts her hands to her face. “Oh my god, I can’t take this anymore!”

“You can’t…, “Tony tries to speak.

“I can’t take this.”

They argue until she resigns. He seems to take it well. They drift closer, like they need to be in each other’s orbit.

“Hey, hey, you deserve better,” Tony says, taking her hand. “You’ve taken such good care of me. Been in a tough spot and you got me through it, right?”

She doesn’t know what to say exactly. “Thank you. Thank you for understanding.”

“Yeah, yeah, let’s talk clean up,” he says.

“I’ll handle the transition, it’ll be smooth….” They are even closer now.

“Okay what about the press because you only had the job for a week, that’s-“

“Well with you, it’s like dog years,” she counters. “I mean it’s like the president.”

Then he’s leaning in, pulling her in and he’s kissing her. It’s good, better than she’s ever experienced. She will not think about how tony got that experience. Pepper puts her hand up to his face, pulling him ever closer. He kisses… like he really means it. It makes her heart pound, her blood rush and her mind whirl. When they break apart, Tony looks at her with a strange expression.

“Weird,” he says.

“No,” she breathes, shaking her head. “Not weird.”

He murmurs something and they go to kiss again. They are interrupted by Rhodey. Pepper puts everything aside to wait. They deal with the police, Pepper gives her statement about Hammer, they escape the press with minimum damage and she takes him to the hotel room she had booked to stay in overnight. He loses the suit quickly, comes to her dressed only in a t-shirt and pants.

“Pepper,” he says, and it’s weird to hear her nickname from his lips. “We don’t have to….”

“I know, Tony. But I think we’ve been leading up to this from the moment we met. Come on, I want to show you something.”

She leads him into the bedroom, makes him stand quietly as she shrugs off her jacket.

“I could help with that,” Tony offers.

“I don’t think so,” she says, unbuttoning her blouse. She’s down to a bra and Tony is looking at her like she’s the best thing he’s ever seen. Then she shimmies out of her skirt. Tony’s licking his lips, she can see his fingers twitching, like he’s itching to touch her. Instead, she steps out of the skirt, comes toward him and turns.

“You little minx, Potts,” he says. Then his fingers are caressing her mark. He doesn’t seem like he’s going to crow or make some snide remark. Instead, she hears movement and tries to turn around. His hands go to her hips, holding her in place. “No, let me do this, Pep.” Then his lips are on the mark. They brush over his name, his moustache tickling her skin.

“Tony… Tony, please.”

He smiles up at her. He traces his fingers along the edge of her panties as he stands. Then he kisses her again, slow and sweet. She gets her hands on his chest, creeping up under his shirt. She traces along the edges of the reactor, caressing the thing that keeps him alive. He lets her go so she can pull the shirt up and over his head, tossing it to one side. Then she works on his pants and he takes off her bra, kissing her breasts. He presses her back, towards the bed.

He’s nude, of course, and she takes him all in. He’s wiry and well-muscled, mostly from his work in the shop. He gently tugs down her panties, fingers going unerringly to her core. He pushes in gently, making her gasp. Tony watches her, like he’s cataloging her every reaction.

“Tony, please, I want you.”

“God, Pep, do you know… so beautiful. Do you have….? Is there?” he asks, voice desperate. He pulls his fingers out and she whines at the loss.

She smiles gently at him, tugging him closer. “On the Pill. I’m clean. Are you?”

“Yes, there hasn’t been anyone since….”

“Then let’s remedy that,” she purrs, trying to pull him to her.

He shakes his head. “No, not like this. The reactor will hurt you. You’re gonna have to be in control.”

“Aren’t I always?” she teases. She pushes him back, rolling him to the bed and straddling him. Then she sinks onto him, watching his face as he enters her.

“Fuck, Pep, god, please tell me you’re going to move soon,” he pants, putting his hands on her waist.

She just smiles and pushes herself up. They establish a smooth rhythm, like they always have and he’s thrusting up into her. Pepper moves and writhes, muttering his name over and over.

“Pepper, please, god, fuck, I love you.” She almost stops but she’s so damn close. Instead she looks down at him and sees that he means it.

“Love… you… too…,” she replies as her orgasm hits her. “Christ, Tony!” He grips her hips, pumping up into her a few more times before he groans his own completion. She goes limp and he rolls so that she lands on the bed. He pulls out gently, kissing her softly. Then he gets up and goes to the bathroom. He brings back a washcloth and cleans her up. Then he lies down next to her.

“Tony, I… I meant it,” she whispers.

“So did I Pep. You… you are everything to me. I was just… too blind, too hurt to really see it. I am never letting you go now. And don’t think I won’t make a smart ass remark about the mark in the morning.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less. Will that be…, “she starts to tease, but he puts a finger to her lips.

“No, just Tony. Only, Tony, Pep.” He kisses her again, pulling her into his arms.

*~*~*~*~*

They move out to New York to facilitate Tony’s work as a SHIELD consultant. Tony decides to go overboard, building a giant building, Stark Tower. He and Pepper talk about making it run on arc reactor power. Tony is going to be the only name in clean energy. The new element he rediscovered, the thing that saved his life, is going to save the world. A positive legacy for the Stark name.

He heads back to the Tower, with JARVIS butting in about Agent Agent. Tony blows him off; he has big plans for tonight. They are going to celebrate the arc reactor going on-line, and if all goes as he plans, an engagement. Tony may have been a blind fool in the past, but Pepper is his future. He wants everything his parents had, including kids. He’s had the ring picked out for ages, he’s just been waiting for the right time to give it to her and ask. He lands, lets the machines take off the suit and goes to find Pepper.

She is standing at a desk, looking at holographic readouts for the reactor. “Levels are holding steady… I think.”

“Of course they are, I was directly involved,” Tony says feeling smug. “Which brings me to my next question: how does it feel to be a genius?”

“Well, ha, I really wouldn’t know now, would I?” she laughs, turning to look at him. The love she has for him, it shines brightly out of her eyes, out of every pore of her being. It blows him away. Tony is still not sure what he did in this life to deserve a woman like Pepper Potts.

“What do you mean? He makes a circular motion with his finger and then points to her. . “All this came from you.”

She shakes her head. “No. All this came from that.” She taps a finger on his chest plate.

“Give yourself some credit, please. Stark Tower is your baby. Give yourself… twelve percent of the credit.”

“Twelve percent?” she gives him a look and he knows he’s going to pay for that later. He’s looking forward to it.

They banter again, going over to have champagne. He’s going to do it here, on the floor. He has the ring hidden in the bucket of ice. But JARVIS is overridden by Agent Coulson. The bland man appears in the elevator as the doors open.

“Mr. Stark,” he says, lowering the phone.

“Phil! Come in.” When did Pep get friendly with anyone from SHIELD?

Tony acts confused. “Phil? Uh, his first name is Agent.”

Pepper ignores him. She gets up and ushers the Agent in. “Come on in, we’re celebrating.”

“Which is why he can’t stay.” Tony wants to get the man out of the room as soon as humanly possible.

There is a song and dance about Agent handing him a laptop. Tony isn’t sure what SHIELD wants now, but he’s not happy about the interruption. “Miss Potts, got a sec?” He loads the files onto his own server as she pads over. “You know, I thought were having a moment.”

“I was having twelve percent of a moment,” she snarks back. “This seems serious. Phil’s pretty shaken.”

“How did you notice? Why is he Phil?” Tony turns to look at her, wanting an answer. She ignores him in favor of the laptop.

“What is all of this?”

“This is, uh….” Tony flings open all of the files. There are personnel files. There is one on some kind of god-like person in New Mexico, which is what Agent must have gone to deal with. There is one on Captain Freaking America. Apparently SHIELD has done what Howard couldn’t. But most intriguing of all is the file on one Doctor Bruce Banner. Tony’s known the name for a while, Banner was big in the physics world. Tony even had to go deal with Ross on behalf of SHIELD, a task he despised.

But mostly he’s interested because the other day, Banner’s name appeared in gold on his right arm, under Pepper’s last name. He’s never really thought about people having two platonics. It makes sense that if a person can have two or more romantic soul mates, why not multiple platonics? Another thing catches his eye: a glowing cube that looks like it could rival the reactor for energy output.

Pepper takes in a breath beside him. “I’m going to take the jet to D.C. tonight.”

“Tomorrow,” he says it automatically, not looking away from the files.

“You have homework. You have a lot of homework,” she replies.

“Well what if I didn’t?” he drags his gaze away, looking at her. He’s not a fool. He’s ignored her far too many times for work and this was supposed to be a special night.

“If you didn’t? You mean if you finished?” Tony nods. “Well, um… then….” She pulls him in, getting on tiptoe to whisper in his ear. “Then we’d try out that new thing I ordered. On you.”

Tony gasps. Exploring new kinks with Pepper is always a treat. “Square deal. It’s a date.”

She smiles and kisses him before walking away, telling him to “Work hard.” Tony reaches into the holograph for the cube.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Meeting Bruce is thrilling. Tony can’t wait to discuss… everything with a fellow scientist. Tony briefly wonders where Bruce’s mark might be. Or if he even has a mark. The effects of the serum combined with gamma radiation turned Bruce into a rage-monster, who knows what they did to the mark? But Rogers is a whole other story. He’s cold, hard. Tony can’t say he blames the man. Tony read the file. Rogers woke up seventy years (or is it only a few weeks?) later to a world where his soul mates (who knew Cap was a player and pioneer?) were dead. The man had a right to be angry and cold. Later, as they’re arguing in the lab, he throws out a comment about Roger’s special talents coming from a bottle. He instantly regrets it, deep in the back of his mind. Then explosions rock the Helicarrier and Tony decides that working with Rogers is better than fighting with him.

They bond over Phil. Tony regrets that he couldn’t send Coulson out to see the cellist. The trip back to New York is quick, with everyone a little worried about Bruce. When Bruce does show up, Rogers proves a capable leader. They fight, the battle going by in a blur. Tony’s new suit works wonders. But he’s really going to test its capabilities when Fury tells him about the nuke. He flies for it, knows exactly where he needs to put it. He’s thinking of Pepper.

Rogers’s voice is worried over the comm. “Stark, you know it’s a one-way trip?”

Tony ignores him, speaks to JARVIS instead. “Save the rest for the turn, J.” He knows this is likely one-way, that he’s going to die, but at least he will go knowing the love of a woman like Pep.

“Sir, shall I call Miss Potts?” Tony has never heard his AI sound so concerned before.

“You might as well.” Pepper’s picture appears in his heads-up display. He puts everything the suit has into the turn up towards the portal. As he crosses into outer space, JARVIS tries to talk to him. Tony can see the call to Pep has failed. Everything goes off line as he lets go of the bomb. He blacks out, his last thoughts of Pepper.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Pepper is watching everything with her heart in her throat. She’s pretty sure she’s holding her breath as Tony speeds towards the hole in the sky, a giant nuclear bomb carried on his back. He’s gone. Some of the cameras stay focused on the sky even as others show the mysterious aliens collapsing. Pepper feels the tears slip down her cheeks. Then the camera catches something coming back out of the portal.

It’s Tony.

But he’s not flying, just falling. Pepper is out of her seat, praying to herself that he’s all right. Then he’s caught by the thing she saw in the files. Tony is set on the ground, his face plate removed. He’s not breathing. Then the green monster roars and she sees Tony eyes open, that he takes a breath. She sits back down, heavily, her heart beating again.

The plane lands, but she can’t get to New York right away. She bullies and pulls strings until she can get there the next day. She finds Tony in the Tower, waiting for her in the room where this all started. She looks around at the wreckage.

“Is that an imprint of a body?” she asks, walking around the hole.

“Turns out Banner’s alter ego? Really didn’t like Loki,” Tony quips. He steps forward, hands out. “Now Pep, I know what you’re going to say….”

She hits him, square in the jaw. “God damn you, Tony Stark. If you ever… I have half a mind to…. Why would you…?”

“I tried to call you,” he says defensively, rubbing at his jaw.

“I know. I saw.” She’s on the verge of crying again. She loves this man so much, but he’s always going to do this. She’s known this from the moment she saw him putting together the first suit. “But really, do you have to always be the one? There’s a whole team of you now.”

He smiles softly at her, pulling her into his arms. “I promise to let Thor deal with the next nuclear bomb.”

“I’d love that,” she replies, laying her head on his chest. She really lets the emotions out now, sobbing in his arms. He soothes her, rubbing a hand down her back, pressing kisses into her hair.

“Pep, I’m okay. I’m fine. I promise to never willingly leave you again. But there is something I’ve been wanting to ask you. Was gonna ask you that night.” He pushes her away gently, pulling something out of his pocket. It’s a ring. The stone is smallish, not as ostentatious as it could have been. It’s the same shade of red as the suit, as her mark. “Marry me?”

There are fresh tears in her eyes. Happy ones. “Yes,” she breathes. He takes her hand, pushes it onto her finger as he kisses her. She flings her arms around his neck, holding onto him. There will need to be a press announcement and there will be tons of things to arrange, but right now she just wants to hold on to Tony, the man she loves, her soul mate.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Tony wants to go back to Malibu, but Pep won’t let him. There is still rebuilding going on there. He tries to argue that there is going to be rebuilding going on here at the Tower too. But she puts her foot down.

“Tony, no. I know you. Better than you know yourself,” she insists, crossing her arms and standing firm.

“While I will deny that later,” he replies, putting on his most charming smile, “I have things out there I need.”

“Make a list, we can get them shipped out here,” she counters.

“The bots are missing me.”

She shakes her head. “We’ll bring DUM-E and Butterfingers out here too.”

“But Pep…,” he whines. He gives up on the charming smile, tries the puppy dog eyes.

“No.”

“Why not? That place is just as much a home to you as it is to me,” he asks. This question finally cracks her resolve a little. She gives him a watery smiles, reaches for his hand and leads him to the couch. He sits and she lowers herself next to him. She takes his hand.

“Tony… I love you, you know that right?”

“Yes. I don’t know why some days, but I know that.”

She laughs a little. “Love is unconditional, Tony. Give up trying to figure out the why and enjoy it. But back to the point I was trying to make.” She scoots a little closer to him. “When you came back from Afghanistan, you didn’t cope well. You threw yourself into building the first suit. Then into using it against the people who took you. You never stopped to let yourself really think about what happened to you. Then Obie happened. And Vanko and Hammer. You were dying. And now the alien invasion. If I let you go back to Malibu, you will continue to not cope. I know you have nightmares. JARVIS tells me things.”

“Remind me to reprogram him,” Tony mutters.

“You will do no such thing. He cares for you, like I do,” she scolds. “You go back there and you will hole yourself up in the workshop, making… god knows what. So I want you to stay here.”

“We have an R and D department here, Pep. Lab space too,” he points out.

She nods, squeezes his hand. “And I’ve given JARVIS strict instructions on how and when to lock you out. Tomorrow morning we are researching psychiatrists together. You will see one, without protest, or I will keep you locked out of the labs. I will be here for you, Tony. I want to build a life together. Isn’t that what you want too?”

“Yes,” he swallows around the word, his throat closed up with emotion. God bless the universe for making this woman his soul mate. “More than you know.”

She is good to her word. He goes to therapy twice a week. JARVIS keeps him away from the labs when Tony wakes from nightmares. DUM-E and Butterfingers are shipped out to him, and he takes a few months to get reacquainted with them, updating them. Pepper deems this a healthy outlet. She springs a surprise on him when she brings both Rhodey and Bruce in for a day. Having both of his platonics in the same room sparks off stories, contests and general merrymaking.

Tony is there to help Rogers get his head out of his ass in regards to Lewis, who he thinks of as the little sister he never had. (Once he’s sure she isn’t his kid.) He finally takes Pepper on that vacation he talked about after Monaco. He brings in the not-so-dead Agent after the fall of SHIELD. Helps Rogers and Lewis with the not-so-dead ex-HYDRA assassin who used to be Rogers’s best friend. Tony tries not to think what a kick his dad would have gotten out of having both Rogers and Barnes alive. He even gets up the courage to look into getting the shrapnel out of his heart.

He and Pepper talk long and hard about what he’s going to do if it happens. He has ideas about a remote controlled suit. Pep knows he’s worked hard at getting better. The nightmares have gotten less frequent and he’s thrown a lot of energy into doing different things with Stark Enterprises. They find a doctor who can do the surgery. He begins work on the new suit.

When he comes out the other side of it fine and healthy, they both cry. The mini-reactor goes into a display in the Tower. Just in case. They get married two months later. A year and a half later they welcome James Robert Stark into the world. Two years after that, he’s joined by Elizabeth Mary Stark. Tony dotes on his children. He comes up with several new inventions because of them. It’s everything he dreamed of when he was a child and more than he ever could have imagined after his kidnapping. It’s his happy ever after (with a few minor Avenging bumps along the way).


End file.
